"I'm asking you to learn how to grow strong by knowing how weak and
unstable and flighty and uncertain you actually are.
Spiritual self-reliance - write it down, underline spiritual - because
that's a fairly fresh combination of words with some of you. Spiritual
self-reliance, that's it, emphasis on the first part.
Spiritual self-reliance occurs as all your props, supports, such as what
was just discussed, as they are allowed to disintegrate in front of your
own eyes. Unseen dependence on another person is unseen, unconscious, and
you do not know it is there activating you to go toward that person. You do
not realize your real motive for memorizing those certain jokes which
you're going to bring out at the proper time, for learning how to be a good
conversationalist or for smiling at the proper times. Your social
personality moves forward, moves backward, circulates, talks, listens,
communicates, circles around the world, all without your knowledge of it.
It is a random force, it is not someone, something, you know and understand
and control. You do not control it; your surface social personality is
controlled not by you, but runs on without guidance. That is, it activates,
operates, talks, all by itself. And you don't know that there is this social
self, which is really anti-social by the way, you don't know that something
is operating through you without the consent of your real nature. It has
gone underground and it cares only for itself."
from a talk given 1/1/1989 Vernon Howard's Higher World - MP3 CD Volume 25, talk 612, track 8
