I've been writing all my life. At first it was poetry so that I could express myself as freely as I could without pissing off my mom LOL........then I became content with my life and I didn't need poetry although occasionally I do write one.
I suppose you would assume that since I'm a girl I would write poems about love. I have to admit that love is a subject that has always fascinated me because for all the talk of it and the media showcasing it, I find that either it has been sorely lacking in my life or I'm basing my assumptions about it on the way media showcases it.
Not too long ago I joined a writer's group and was assigned to write two chapters so I wrote three. The thing is I can think of a story line but I'm not good with fleshing out the story. I'm writing, shucks, I'm writing to whoever reads my drivel on here, but I don't think I'll write to publish. I just don't have the discipline or the stamina to keep getting rejection letters, so I'll write for my own amusement.
There are two places that I can think of where tools were used as wood to burn a sacrifice in scripture. The first one that I can think of was when King David found the place where he wanted to have the first temple built. It was a threshing floor for grain and he purchased it. 2 Samuel 24
The next time I can think of that happening was when Elijah recruited Elisha. 1 Kings 19
I can't put my finger on why that stands out to me but it does. Elijah is one of my favorite prophets.
I wonder if it can be related to Christ being a tool for the Lord with which to redeem the world from death, he was the sacrifice. John 11:50
47 Then gathered the chief priests and the Pharisees a council, and said, What do we? for this man doeth many miracles.
48 If we let him thus alone, all men will believe on him: and the Romans shall come and take away both our place and nation.
49 And one of them, named Caiaphas, being the high priest that same year, said unto them, Ye know nothing at all,
50 Nor consider that it is expedient for us, that one man should die for the people, and that the whole nation perish not.
51 And this spake he not of himself: but being high priest that year, he prophesied that Jesus should die for that nation;
52 And not for that nation only, but that also he should gather together in one the children of God that were scattered abroad.
53 Then from that day forth they took counsel together for to put him to death.
Now this did not take God by surprise, he spoke of it hundreds of years before that in Zechariah 11:
8 Three shepherds also I cut off in one month; and my soul lothed them, and their soul also abhorred me.
9 Then said I, I will not feed you: that that dieth, let it die; and that that is to be cut off, let it be cut off; and let the rest eat every one the flesh of another.
10 And I took my staff, even Beauty, and cut it asunder, that I might break my covenant which I had made with all the people.
11 And it was broken in that day: and so the poor of the flock that waited upon me knew that it was the word of the Lord.
12 And I said unto them, If ye think good, give me my price; and if not, forbear. So they weighed for my price thirty pieces of silver.
13 And the Lord said unto me, Cast it unto the potter: a goodly price that I was prised at of them. And I took the thirty pieces of silver, and cast them to the potter in the house of the Lord.
I ponder on verse 9 and think maybe since they had all seen Christ and what he did, that if they didn't have faith enough to be baptized by John the baptist then perhaps who Christ was had been veiled from them. The carnal nature in me says it wouldn't have been fair for them to have proof when everyone else who'd ever believed had to do so on faith. Luke 7
Specifically
29 And all the people that heard him, and the publicans, justified God, being baptized with the baptism of John.
30 But the Pharisees and lawyers rejected the counsel of God against themselves, being not baptized of him.
You see, he had been preaching about John.
I partly read some article about love and it's many different styles. When I was first mentally ill I was paranoid because of some internet chatter. I thought someone wanted me dead and/or would kill anyone I loved to hurt me. I left my husband, I was cold with my parents, my sister used the word "hostile." That would accurately describe how I was with her, but I don't think it was quite that way with my parents. I distanced myself because of love.
Now that I've been treated for years I have a clarity about the past that I didn't have before. Or perhaps someone could say I have an impression about the past based on the present. sometimes I still distance myself from people so as not to harm them, and yep, also not to harm myself. I'm still not sure how I feel about that.
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