Julian followed her in his dream. She was young and in a back seat of a car going through the countryside and into the city. There were four of them in the car and she was the only girl. The music was loud and they were getting high. Her silence went unnoticed but her look of concern said she had a lot on her mind.
They stopped in town at a clinic and her boyfriend got out with her and began walking her to the door. An activist tried to talk to the girl about there being another way, the man put his arm around the girl’s shoulders and steered her clear of the older lady who was trying to talk to her. The look on the girl’s face was stoic and set. “Do you want me to go inside with you?” The man asked her and she nodded.
There was only one other girl in the lobby. The man gave the girl three hundred dollars and was insistent he should leave. She relieved him of his duty and he told her he’d be waiting outside in the car for her when she came out and that he and the boys were going to pick up something to drink on the way back. She nodded and he left. She went to the window and announced that she had an appointment. They took the three hundred dollars and had her fill out some paperwork. They asked her if she wanted any counseling and shook her head “no” without any hesitation.
The wait wasn’t very long before they called her name. Rose, her name was Rose. They took her to the back and had her disrobe and put on a gown, a paper gown, then she laid on the table and waited. The girl in the adjoining room was screaming over the sound of the vacuum cleaner and Rose was listening fearfully. The procedure sounded painful.
Finally the noise stopped in the adjoining room and the aged man made it in to see Rose. He didn’t speak to her, the nurse was kind and held her hand through the procedure. Rose flinched, she squeezed her eyes shut, she opened them and the look of horror was there as the doctor performed the abortion but she refused to cry out in pain.
He saw her in recovery and then out to the car where three men were waiting. When she got in the car one said, “I thought you’d be crying and carrying on.” Her boyfriend handed her a bottle of Brass Monkey and she flinched as she took it. She welcomed the joint that would take from her mind what she’d just become. She didn’t speak but the men didn’t notice, they were all in a good mood.
That night when her boyfriend took her home, she tried to break up with him. “You can’t do that,” he said. “Wherever you go, whatever you do, whoever you see………I will be there.” She glanced at the house in thought and then complied. Julian suspected she needed to see his world, why else would the council have sent him this dream?
Could Pappy have been using Marc to try to bring justice to systemic racism and then Marc got killed? Could that have been the story Rose was supposed to remember to tell?
Pappy stood in the circle and spoke, his voice echoed, this is where they are to meet, twins separated at birth. He had tried to reunite them before twice already but to no avail, it was a small step but he understood the butterfly effect even if others didn’t seem to. After they meet, then it was all in other hands, Julian had no idea what they needed each other for but he sensed that they did.
Jaunce took the ear buds out of his ears. He was on the neighborhood watch and had been keeping an eye on Debbie for some time now. He suspected she was selling drugs, he knew she had a good singing voice, she often sang to herself when she was tending her fire or walking alone with her dog.
He was able to record whatever he heard, but so far he hadn’t heard anything that confirmed his suspicion. One of the local officers stopped his cruiser on his way through, “Anything today Jaunce?”
“Nothing today Bradley,” he replied.
Officer Bradley tipped his hat and proceeded down the road. Jaunce went inside. The sun would be down soon and the mosquitoes would be out, he didn’t have anything on to ward them off. Later he would come back outside with some Off on and would sit in the swing listening. In the meantime, he had a date with Hungry man. Sometimes he bothered to cook but most of the time it was TV dinners or some other heat and eat item. He remembered a time when his grocery bill was fairly large, but the kids were grown and his wife had left, said she found a man who didn’t like football, whatever that meant. He’d toyed with the idea of taking care of Budweiser if Debbie went to jail. He didn’t really want to send Debbie to jail, but with the way she lived, maybe she’d be better off, he thought.
12 A naughty person, a wicked man, walketh with a froward mouth.
13 He winketh with his eyes, he speaketh with his feet, he teacheth with his fingers;
14 Frowardness is in his heart, he deviseth mischief continually; he soweth discord.
15 Therefore shall his calamity come suddenly; suddenly shall he be broken without remedy. (Pappy/Julian)
16 These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:
17 A proud look (Roger), a lying tongue (Olivia—“I love you&rdquo
, and hands that shed innocent blood (Rose),
18 An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations (Debbie), feet that be swift in running to mischief (Ed),
19 A false witness that speaketh lies (Angus), and he that soweth discord among brethren (Pappy/Julian).
20 My son, keep thy father's commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother:
Rose ignored them all and stepped into the circle, she nodded. Alec held the box steady and glanced at them saying, “Watch,” as he tapped the box and set it spinning.
She saw the spirits present with them, she spoke to the most familiar one that she felt comfortable with, the lady with the messy hair, “So you are here, wasn’t there something you could tell me a long time ago?”
“Every quest has its proper time and place Rose. You have been torturing yourself for years as though paying penance the rest of your life for something you did as a child would somehow undo what you did.”
Rose lowered her eyes and whispered through the tears, “I shed innocent blood; I killed my baby before the child even had a chance to live.”
When she looked up at the spirit, a young man was standing with her. “I forgive you.” He said. “A thousand times over, I forgive you. The Father told me why you made that choice, he understood your heart, he understood the world you came from, he understood your trust in him.”
“Jacob,” she cried, “Had I truly trusted him I would have consulted with him to find a better way so that you could have lived.”
“It can’t be undone. Do you believe God forgives you?”
“He died and was resurrected because of things like what I did Jacob, why wouldn’t he forgive me?” She cried, “I don’t deserve forgiveness.”
“Mom,” he said gently, “If God can forgive you, who are you to usurp his authority and not forgive yourself?”
“Can I hug him?” She asked the spirit with the messy hair, who waved Jacob over to his mother. They embraced and her tears became tears of joy. “You never suffered?” she asked quietly.
“Not so much,” he said back to her, “I love you mom.”
They parted and the spirit said to her, “You must forgive yourself Rose, just as Jacob and the Lord have forgiven you. He has to go now.”
“Will I see him again?” She asked the spirit.
“The two of you will have eternity, but you will be more effective in your walk if you forgive yourself so you can speak more freely of your faith.”
“I’ve had no right to speak freely of my faith; I’ve been a murderer of the worst kind.” Rose said angrily.
Jacob said, “Then you remind people to look to the Lord as their example and to you as the humble messenger who’s been forgiven.”
Rose smiled at him, “I could have used your kind of thinking a long time ago Jacob, now I see what I’ve missed.”
“I had a wonderful teacher,” he said. Then he was gone.
“So none of you have ever been like……..like us?” She asked the spirit.
“Only Pappy, as you call him, but he was one of us first. He was subjected to a test set forth by the council.” She said.
Pappy stepped out of the shadows, “What do you mean, a test?”
“You’ll have to talk to the council about that,” she said. “Look to the box.”
They all looked back to the box and it slowly came to a stop. The spirits were incognito again.
They all looked at one another, the silence was deafening. Rose knew what it was she needed to do, why she had made the journey to this place. She closed her eyes and said out loud, “I love you and I forgive you.” The sound of her voice came back to her, “I love you and I forgive you.” She opened her eyes and the first person she saw was Smokey. His eyes were busy trying to read hers without any success.
“Did it work?” He asked. “Do you feel at peace now?”
