MISGUIDED AND ABUSED LOYALTY
MISGUIDED LOYALTY
Loyalty carries the idea of fidelity and devotion. It is a good character trait, but its virtue, or lack of it, depends upon the object of its allegiance as well as the motives of the devotee. Loyalty can be misplaced or misguided. It is abused when being loyal requires a person to act contrary to conscience, integrity, or truth. Misguided loyalty often stems from an attempt to avoid disfavor, rejection, or accusations of betrayal from a leader who is unwilling to really listen, who refuses to acknowledge his guilt or face issues, defects, and errors in his life.
We should be loyal to our friends and our leaders, but loyalty does not remove our need to stay in the realm of reality and to speak the truth in love. Loyalty does not mean indulging the sin and weaknesses in those we follow or supporting the sin in our friends or fellow-workers. Loyalty does not mean never having a dissenting opinion. True Biblical loyalty does not mean closing your eyes to reality and failure to speak up in order to avoid disfavor. Faithful are the wounds of a friend. Open rebuke is better than secret love. Integrity, reality, and honesty are important ingredients in real love and in healthy loyalty.
LOYALTY WITHIN THE COUNCIL
There should be love, harmony, wisdom, and prophetic insight in a council of church leaders. A group of elders should respect their senior leader, especially if he has been their spiritual father and mentor. They should give him the honor and courtesy due his position. However, individuals on any form of leadership council should speak up in their official positions and not be “yes” men. Any leadership council is useless unless its members bring their wisdom and thoughts into the conversation and decisions that have to be made. It is not good when a senior pastor or leader creates an atmosphere in which the other leaders feel they are betraying him if they disagree or express concerns that need to be dealt with. A silent council is no council. A spiritual father should respect the growth and maturity in his spiritual sons. Loyalty must be mutual and reciprocal.
CHARGES OF BETRAYAL
A couple who was rejected by their pastor left the church wounded and hurting. They were bewildered that there was no follow-up communication from people (in the church) whom they considered to be their best friends. No one called to say, “Are you okay? How are you doing? Where did you go?” Years later they received an apology from one of those friends saying he and his wife had wanted to reach out to them but were afraid the pastor would see it as betrayal.
Ahimelech the priest of Nob would have had the same fear had he been aware of King Saul’s condition. He innocently befriended David not knowing David was fleeing from Saul. Saul in self-pity, insecurity, and grasping to hold his position counted as enemies anyone who befriended David. He, therefore, erroneously charged Ahimelech and eighty-five priests of Nob with betrayal and executed all of those innocent men along with their families. Saul here is an example of the insecure leader who demands blind “loyalty” and perceives kindness to his “enemies” as an act of betrayal.
I know life is complicated. There are good, faithful, and godly leaders who have suffered abuse at the hands of rebellious followers. There is a time for church discipline. But this principle has been abused in the hands of a self-centered, self-righteous, and stubborn leadership. Leaders should stand in the fear of God knowing that injustice has two sides−freeing the guilty and oppressing the innocent.
SONS OF ZERUIAH
Joab and Abishai, two of Zeruiah’s three sons, showed themselves fiercely loyal to David in fighting David’s enemies. But this outward zeal to defend David masked an inner spirit of error that manifested itself in their presumptuous and independent action. Abishai tried to get David to kill Saul when Saul was relieving himself in a cave and in a vulnerable position. Joab acted contrary to David’s orders and assassinated Abner and Amasa, former enemies of David whom David had pardoned and given positions of honor. Joab also slew the rebellious Absalom against David’s explicit command.
The irony is that Joab later defected to King Solomon’s brother Adonijah (who desired the throne). That wickedness of heart that had previously expressed itself in a vengeful loyalty to David later caused Joab to be deceived into a misplaced loyalty to Adonijah and into the very betrayal and rebellion he had disdained in others. The “Sons of Zeruiah” will be fiercely loyal to you today…but will betray you “tomorrow.” We need to beware of carnality in the spirit of those who support us. For that very carnality may become a door for their own deception causing them to turn on us later.
David said, “What have I to do with you sons of Zeruiah?” Leaders should expect their followers to walk in the Spirit and not in the flesh, even as they require it of themselves.
CONCLUSION
Jesus knew what it was to have faithful and loyal disciples. He also knew what it was to have ostensible followers who turned and walked away when He gave a hard word or did not respond according to their fancy. He knew what it was to be betrayed and to have friends forsake Him in His hour of trouble. But He always loved them and sought their best interest. Loyalty was important, but He did not use loyalty as a means to manipulate or “use” people.
---Billy Long
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